Friday, June 21, 2013

I'm Just Going to Ramble

          Yeah, don't expect this to be interesting or funny or witty. It's going to be boring. I'm just going to write about my life and self for a bit, because I need to.

     Life's been hectic lately, yet incredibly boring. I guess I'm always bored though. If you watch Sherlock, he's a pretty accurate description of me. Or maybe Moriarty. Everything just goes and goes, on and on the same way every day. nothing changes. All stories begin and end the same. They begin with life and end with death. There is no other option. Life is not the magical fairy tale we are trained to believe as children.
      I'm so tired of emotions. They are so frustrating. I am an empath, an emotional one at that, so I not only feel my own emotions, but also those of everyone around me. I'm either over whelmed by emotion at all times or go completely apathetic. Some day I'm afraid the apathy will stick. That's a very scary thought.
     I keep hiding in the internet. Spending hours online just to escape the reality of myself. The reality that i have no clue who I am anymore. I used to know. I have no clue anymore. I don't know how I'd react to situations anymore, I don't form attachments and I don't feel motivation to do anything at all. I used to be driven by passion and desire to chase my dreams. Now my dreams do not exist.
   I have no idea if anyone actually read this, but I'm a mess right now, so I'm writing it all down.


  1. I completely understand. I feel that way sometimes and it sucks. I'm really sorry. I hope things get better. And if it means anything to you, I'll be praying for you as well.