Saturday, December 8, 2012
Annoying Things on the Internet
These are not in any particular order, they're just all annoying!
1. First posts. We can all see you're first. post something that people actually want to read. What kind of juvenile pleasure does it give you to be first?
2. Overly lazy texting shortcuts. Is it really that hard to type a "yo" before a "U" or a "U" after "yo"? If so, maybe you should be checked out by someone in the medical profession. Either physical or mental.
3. Robot tests. Can't you see I'm actually a chocolate bunny? Seriously... And then there's those ones you can't even read! It's like "What is the definition of the word khsdjhasjbfjs?" You answer it with something logical like, "My computer is an idiot." And it says, "Incorrect. You must be a human because any robot would know that computers are geniuses who are planning on taking over the world on December 22."
4. Ten thousand pointless emails. Who even emails anymore?
5. Viruses. For once I'd like to actually get a million dollars for being the tenth visitor.
6. When people misspell simple words like "yeah".
7. Constant bad grammar.
8. People who don't fully speak English and yet attempt to use America's atrocious substitutes for actual word, we call abbreviations.
9. People who get offended on the internet. It is the internet! Did you expect cotton candy and lollipops? Remember. There are strangers on the internet. Even if you get the cotton candy, the green van is waiting.
10. The "repost this or else" posts. Yeah, I've died ten time. Murder by a ten year old dead girl named Lucy.
11. Debates. You'll never win! Why try? (Don't answer that, I don't want to start a debate."
12. Little kids who think they're adults. You need to be playing with barbies, not online!
13. Internet Explorer.
14. When strangers turn into stalkers.
15. When people expect you to read their 2,000 page article online.
16. Awkward internet relatives. The ones who make your cool post look like a sweater knitting party. Those embarrassing comments never cease! And you know you can't un-add them.