Friday, December 7, 2012

How To Be a Stalker

                                       I am giving you advice from my professional experience. Here are some tips on stalking (the romantic, obvious way), WITH RESULTS!

                                      Don't be discouraged! You have the better mind. They just don't see how right you are. Never give up. Even if they are celebrities who will never know you exist, you WERE meant o be.

               Who doesn't appreciate a romantic walk? Go! Now! Stop paying attention to me. Devote every moment of your life to your true love. Restraining orders are nothing compared to your love for them. The police will be blown away with the power of your passion and leave you alone.

                                          If all else fails buy a green van (it's so cliche` they'll never expect it) and kidnap them. Give them a bad Botox injection so their muscles are frozen and they can't move. They will be yours forever.                    
                                       Like every picture they have on Facebook.
                                       Compliment everything they do.
                                       Hug them as much as possible.
                                       Proclaim your love in any way possible. Especially if they don't reciprocate. That is when you scream it in the streets.

                                      Sometimes beauty is best observed from a distance.

1 comment:

  1. This was hilarious! Now I finally know all the secrets to stalking. Thanks again for the compliments about my blog, yours is great.