Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Things to Never Do With a Cat

                                  We all love our cats. Nothing is better than sitting on the internet, cuddling with your cat and commenting on how much you can relate to forever alone memes. Your cat sits there, demonstrating how to be stoic and emotionless, even when living with you. But let's face it, there are things you should NEVER do with a cat.

Time travel.
               Cats have horrible attitudes and get Tardis-sick. They create as many paradoxes as possible. They secretly think that the human race should be destroyed. The side with the Slyveen. They are more likely to take the key and leave you than to save the universe. They also think that Daleks are very cuddly.

Go to the Tanning Bed.
        Cats hate tans. They prefer to stay in the dark. Their eyes turn into uncontrollable laser beams when exposed to too much light. And their eyes cross. So if they go to the tanning bed, they will end up frying their own brains.
Go to Asia. (No Racism intended)
                                  Unless of course the cat food bills are getting to high... The only time you should bring your cat to Asia is never. Unless you want the last thing you loved to leave you alone forever. 
Go to the Dog Pound.
               Unless you want an entire building of dogs to die. Never go there with your cat. Cats are the creators of mass destruction. No matter how dependent thy act, they can always destroy whatever is in their path.

To a Llama Farm

                    Think about it... Have you ever seen a cat and llama in the same place? There's a reason for that. Have you ever seen a cat spit? There's a reason for that too. Cat spit is worse than an atomic bomb. Cats and llamas combined and the world as we know it could end. But the thing is, they hate each other. Never should the too come together.
Well this has only been the tip of the iceberg. Oh, never go to an iceberg with your cat either.

Or to a lake,
Movie set,
Beauty school,
Or anywhere that involves mass amounts of radiation.

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