Saturday, December 29, 2012

Confessions of an Abnormal Hobbit

Yes. I am a Hobbit. I'm short and love to eat. Here are some random confessions about my life as a Hobbit:
1. I like being short. It's a good conversation starter. "Hey you're really tall!" or "Could you reach that for me?"
2. I am a compulsive book buyer. Yep. Sometimes I don't even read the books I buy. I can't pass up a good book deal. I hardly have any money in savings because of it. And I need to buy a car! I'm going to starve and die... Maybe I should watch reruns of "Hoarders" for a while and remind myself that if I don't stop buying books, I'll go broke, if I'm broke I'm homeless, if I'm homeless... no internet!
3. I don't like real people. Yep, because fictional people have made real people look boring and dull to my eyes. I'm slowly becoming numb to the human race. One day I'll be completely insane, I'll think that I see a portal to another world start yelling "fly you fools!" jump on my horse and run straight in front of a truck.
4. I talk to people in my head. Yeah, I have whole conversations with people. Then I start making facial expressions...
5. Sometimes I convince myself I can use the force.
6. I like hugs, but not conversation. I hate having to talk to people unless they get my nerdiness. I prefer to listen and hug.
7. I can never be happy with movies anymore. They're never good enough to live up to the book. I've started watching the movie before reading the books so I don't get let down.
8. I've gotten so good at reading foreshadowing that I always know what's going to happen and how it ends.
9. I love crime investigative shows (CSI:NY, Criminal Minds) because they use actual facts and I love learning about this things. Though I have crime on the brain, I ask people if they're ready to die. I don't know why, but they don't take it very well and I end up in these funny white jackets. I learned I give nice hugs! I hate shows like Jersey Shore. Now if CSI:NY was investigating the murders of the JS cast, I'd be all over it! I'd also be in the suspect pool.
10. This is the story of my life: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQTRP5ZNDkE

5 comments:

  1. I'm not that short, but I love this!

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    1. You can just be one of the unusually tall hobbits, the ones that could still ride horses!

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  2. You're a very interesting and cool person. I like getting to know about you more. The video was very funny too.

    -James

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    1. I always look forward to your comments :D You're my favorite blogger :D

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  3. Awesome list! It's great that you know yourself so well, and I can relate to a lot of these (I'm short as well!). :)

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